On 35 Years of Marriage
From the heart... and sprinkled with humor
As you might be looking toward marriage in the future, or even upon your marriage now, I am reminiscent of my own marriage over the last 35 years! What could I possibly tell you about marriage? What wisdom could I share? Is it ok if I’m straight up with you? Let’s see what comes to mind…
First, I’d start with God. He needs to be the priority and focus of your life and your life together. Why? Well, as you may or may not already know, life has a way of throwing some real zingers and you’ll want and need to turn to God as a couple for strength, guidance and wisdom. How do you go about this? By reading scripture, praying and going to church together. Trust me, you won’t regret it.
Share dessert, offer a foot rub, send an encouraging/spicy text to your lifetime mate.
Another thing I’d say is carve out time for just the two of you. Be fully committed to each other and your spouse’s wellbeing. Say, “How can I help or pray for you?” but never use the word “divorce”. Continue your manner words, “please” and “thank you.” Respect will go a long way for a lasting relationship.
Know that the relationship changes over time because you each grow and change over time. But don’t outgrow each other. Some days will be exciting, some days might be dull, all days stay committed to your marriage covenant. Love is eternal.
Be humble and the first one to say, “I’m sorry”, “I forgive you” and always, “I love you. Fight fair. Never go to bed mad at each other, that’s what the Bible tells us, with good reason.
Leave love notes, flirt with each other and be the bigger person and go ahead and change that empty toilet paper roll!
Life gets busy with college, careers, children, aging parents, and grandchildren but don’t lose sight of you as a couple and your own individual interests. You want to be able to bring something interesting to discuss at the dinner table. Stay attractive for each other, be loving, be physical, and keep your eyes only for your spouse. Wives, that’s us too.
Have a “sign” for when you want to leave an event or for when kale gets stuck in your teeth!
Put the iPhone down, turn off the TV, take out your ear buds and listen, truly listen to each other. Share your hopes and dreams, be intentional about your marriage and make short- and long-range goals, you guessed it, as a couple.
Support each other like your life depends on it, because it does! Laugh together, often, and don’t forget romantic gestures, date nights and your anniversary.
Get on a budget, get out of debt, and get well acquainted with saving up for things.
Take trips, create your own traditions and make wonderful memories. Together.
Because you see, after 35 years of marriage, love is one thing, but I still really like my guy I met back in high school.
So yeah, that’s what I’d tell you about marriage.
Thank you for sharing, and congratulations! As my husband and I approach our 3rd year of marriage next month, it’s encouraging to know that we’re building a lasting foundation by keeping God at the center and making Him our solid ground.
Congratulations on 35 years of marriage - that's worthy of celebrating! Lots of good advice in here, can't think of anything I'd add, but would emphasize keeping God at the center of marriage. We can't do without His grace and mercy. My husband and I will celebrate 29 years of marriage this May. His parents were married for 35 years (his sweet mother, may she rest in peace, passed while we were pregnant with our 1st child). My parents divorced after 17 years, which was painful for all involved, but makes me determined, with God's grace, to avoid that route.